wednesday 30th april



tuesday 29th april
oh, man! the atm gave me a tenner! i'm absolutely made up! haven't felt this good about getting cash out since i was at lcp crossing my fingers for a fiver. result!

'so my onedotzero title sequence is to be ported onto g3 phones and played in the foyer of london's institute of contemporary arts and shown on the bbc website. we appear in 'graphic design for the 20th century: 100 of the world's best graphic designers.'

what can i say? i rock. yeah - rock poorly. it's all more ridiculous than sublime these days.

beautiful observation, ade.

moday 28th april
apart from anna, everyone at work wore a black top.

sunday 27th april
homer: ow! woo! hemorrhage amundo!

(interior, red dwarf, kitchen)
kryten: what you're suggesting is immoral and illegal - mind patching is outlawed!
rimmer: but it is possible...?
k: possible but highly dangerous. the side effects can be devastating - you could be reduced to a blithering simpleton
cat: 'reduced'?
r: i don't care; i'm prepared to take the chance.
lister: even if it costs you your mind?
c: it's a small price to pay.
k: sir i beg you to reconsider. if not for your sanity - you haven't even considered the moral implications of your decision. i mean, you will be joining a society where you will be compelled to have sex twice daily with beautiful women. on demand. now am i really the only one here who finds that just a little bit tacky? (lister and cat stare ahead, aghast) ...well quite clearly i am.
(cut to mindpatch bay)
k: sir, i've uploaded the two candidates to be inserted into your mind: science officer buckham, excellent scientific background, 169 i.q, and flight coordinator mcqueen, superlative mathematician, 172 i.q. now even taking into account the enormous drag factor of your own mind i still think we'll come up with something pretty special.
r: but i will stil have control?
k: you will have access to their knowledge but your personality will have the power of veto. but sir i implore you to reconsider, if not for yourself but for the poor officer whose life you will take.
r: wasn't it sir francis of assisi himself who said 'never give a sucker an even break?'
k: well if he did, sir, it was strictly off the record.
r: come on, kryten, get on with it.
k: commencing integration...
r: glory or insanity awaits.

saturday 26th april
queue? aargh!

big jen, pablo and the hyoooge bump, affectionately named 'junior'. s/he will be here very soon indeed. good luck, iffster.



friday 25th april
munch: what else do women like? do they like... crocodiles?

steve, giles, kwami and i were at the spot with emma. while i was employing a bit of experimental 'reverse deconstructive psychology' (i named it) by not giving pretty women my phone number (on the grounds that makes men 'feel as if they've got a chance'!) i became quite drunk, ending up at b-boy's new gaff. nice!



thursday 24th april
me and my big mouth. pissed it down all day.



wednesday 23rd april
so much to do there's barely enough time to look at the weather let alone be in it. still, it's better to have green and dry than grey and wet.

tuesday 22nd april
worryingly reminding me of me, we have this, er, cat:



monday 21st april
happy birthday funkstar! champagne for breakfast can't be a bad
day for anyone.



sunday 20th april
couldn't get a mirror the right size in crouch end so i hung the radiator surprising my dad, before speaking to the chimper and ordering pizza delivery for the first time here. bbq special. happy easter.



saturday 19th april
never underestimate the power of two persil tablets, comfort fabric conditioner, a 300 quid zanussi and a warm radiator. smells like home and presto! clean clothes too.

friday 18th april
tee hee. found my old gcse maths book! so... if the day had been a mr warren chemistry test my paper would have looked something like this:

the problems: old, school artwork is underneath the bed but should be at the back of the understairs cupboard. the dyson, map and brushes should be at the front of the understairs cupboard.
the understairs cupboard is wedged full of everything that should be in it less all the above.
the washing machine needs a 1" macalpine trap in order to make it permanent.
philip is going on holiday and has to go through and hand over his projects to me.
can't find my shoes.

the method: go to three diy shops and acquire three different macalpine traps - 3/4", 1" and 1 1/4".
rip out all the understairs cupboard stuff and go through it, binning the shash, finding shoes in a black bin bag at the bottom. whack artwork at back, repack (tighter, neater). add a few nails and wood.
take cd player and tape deck in to work for doc doyler on way to philip's.
go through onedotzero catalogue.
meet tracey back at mine.
talked.

the results: the 1" macalpine trap fitted but wasn't needed as the pipe has a rubber end that fits into the plumbing.
underneath the bed is clear
dyson and brooms hidden yet accessible
snowboard boots and badminton racquets have a place to hang
my shoes sit on shelves.
i had a chatty night at home with deluxe.

conclusion:
sorted. and knackered.



thursday 17th april
before: the flash animation has to be emailed to steve in tokyo by the end of the day (midnight, then). i'm badinage the rest of the graphics whilst waiting for my central heating to be fixed and the washing machine to arrive, both so good i don't think either will happen. i've been taking showers at the two js' - my upstairs neighbours - as i've seen them entering and leaving and even used their washing machine whilst they watched tv, rationing the clothes for the week ending today. kettles for everything... so many full kettles. it's easter bank holiday this weekend and if it all adds up wrong it may not be the getting-on-top-of-your-life i need after a month of serious work.

after: in true london bus tradition the central heating man had just unscrewed everything when the washing machine apes arrived. a zanussi, pressure release valve, diverter valve and top-up connection later my kitchen was functional, if a little utterly trashed.

washing myself and clothes is going to feel like a new experience.

wednesday 16th april
no hot water's getting annoying now.

tuesday 15th april
the end of a summer day in spring. with warm air. as i passed clissold park on the midnight drive homefrom nicks (to finalise the score) i bzzzed the window down. there were few people around and the day's heat had turned cold and wet. dew was forming. it was midnight, it smelt of dawn. for ten minutes london imitated the countryside.

monday 14th april
monkey seems to be getting over her hysterectomy quite well. expect antics. and volume.

sunday 13th april
i've started finding money underneath sofa cushions. normal!

saturday 12th april
faced off those flingin'-flangin' shelves at damn last.

friday 11th april
turns out the spinning attempt was a bad idea. my left butt cheek hurts when i move or don't move. damn! anyway, here are stills:

thursday 10th april
there i was, drunk, trying to break dance on a north london pub's carpeted floor.

wednesday 9th april
xxx was worth watching for a few reasons, although most of them being the new orbital tune, 'technologicque park'. get on limewire and find a chunky 192 kbps mp3 and you're set for an enjoyable working day. chair dancing.

tuesday 8th april
happy birthday, mum!

by seven pm emily had turned up to a sarcastic reception (which i - but nobody else - found hilarious) and the second-last - and nicest - render finally flipped onto frame 240, unlocking philip's computer. 24 hours for a smidge over 5 seconds' footage. big, then. i plumbed it in, talked to philip about the catalogue and drove him home, thinking about how different my whole life is to the pre-mortgagedom days just four months ago. i actually do feel like a different person and in my head i'm singing toad's '...funny how the days go by invisibly and faster than the week when we first met...' even though i haven't listened to it for months. does it mean i should?

monday 7th april
i bought five greeting cards today, in one shop. efficiency the chimichangas chumpy-cheese only ever dreams about. get in!

sunday 6th april
the two j's, monkey and women upstairs. orange's london / kent connection fluctuated, struggled then beeped out leaving me in silence staring at the tv. steve had sounded distressed so i messaged him 'keep yer chin up. next week's the start of a whole new chapter' and after a while cranked the volume. something was going to be said by the looks of things. 'the long kiss goodnight' had amnesiac ex-hitman/woman type geena davis' second-life husband raising a glass with 'may the best of your past be the worst of your future', eerily blending the two different atmospheres as i sat there, staring and weirded out.

saturday 5th april
sunshine and warmth
meusli and tea
shower and sainsbury's
driving and hip hop
hoover and duvet
goat's cheese and bruscetta
gardening and hoovering
chicken and horseraddish
funkstar and deluxe
signs and stories
waving and goosedown

friday 4th april
[whilst driving] so. recap. bed times are sliding by about three hours either way: work. weekends are for working on the flat and seeing people. okay. that's a routine. a baggy one. can a routine be 'baggy'? actually that quite suits me. a bit of flexibilty's cool. [i reassure myself] you're here for as long as i want so there's no rush to settle in. wish i had more time though. how do you stretch time again? nick bell said that bloke who used to be my thesis advisor could do it. so. in conclusion: everything's cool. different cool.

thursday 3rd april
i walked up kingsland road to buy a box of chalks for my new blackboard. twelve sticks costing just 52p; less than a biro probably, i thought as i walked back to work flanked by anti-war slogans. war and chalk seem to share the same sophistication.



wednesday 2nd april
one for funk:



tuesday 1st april
the view on my way home was, as emily would say, 'one for the boys'. (note the 'pull to open' instruction underneath.)




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