saturday 31st august
my hands are beginning to peel which can mean only one thing. my early warning
system is telling me autumn is just around the corner. veggie breakfast, harringay,
the lounge.
friday 30th august
on my travels around london i found a citroen
james would never drive (on the grounds of it's too environmentally friendly,
of course; nothing to do with style i'm sure) and a madame tussauds
poster with a defaced president. it's not
the person that wrote it that concerns me but whoever disagrees with it enough
to scrub it out...
the already relaxed four-day week dissolved into three as philip and i walked
around earl's court at the ects
show with its massive characters, blue altars and dry ice. if you were there for
the tradeshow you got exactly that: booths with formal meetings going on,
people filming interviews, countdowns for showtimes, queues, stands of nothing
particularly fun. business in your face and everywhere. corporations hard
selling their marketing hype though naff tactics and cheap gimmicks. the remainder
impressed, though; turok evolution looks like a gem (the guy from acclaim says
xbox owners have more to look forward to), as does mario sunshine and the ability
to race using three screens against three others with the same.
my overall feeling is of the amount of bandwaggoning going on. everyone's showing
off big 3d worlds to explore, more detailed tracks with more lifelike collision
damage, or just the same old beat-em ups. what happened to imagination in games?
new genres is what we need, like the window-washing game where the kids have to
wipe the tv screen clear so they can see themselves.
those crazy kids downstairs are up to something - they usually are; last saturday
the lounge floor began to shake. a quick glance through the front window confirmed
our suspicions. no car. the boys are home alone. it turned out danny was hammering
a log against the back door. 'that's enough of that, thank you' i shouted through
the open kitchen window. he looked up in fright and utter shock. he dropped the
log, stunned. 'robbie's locked me out!' (a lie). i go down stairs and say it's
a nice day so play nice, glad no cutlery was involved. today i got home, looked
out of the window and saw this. now i understand
the pram and the ramp, but a garden roller? and a pot? i don't even want
to know...
on monday i find out what the damp inspectors found. dryness, hopefully.
thursday 29th august
it's almost september which means we've
been in our current studio three years. i can still remember the day we moved
in and the football fashioned from bubble wrap and masking tape. we want to stay
- we like the area, roof terrace, skylights and aspen,
the flea-bitten moaning whinger. so let's hope it's not too expensive now.
what are the odds on the flat i'm waiting to buy and our studio being surveyed
on the same day?
wednesday 28th august
who is this super hero? sarge?... no.
rosemary, the telephone operator? ... no.
penry, the mild-mannered janitor? could be!
hong Kong phooey, number one super guy.
hong Kong phooey, quicker than the human eye.
he's got style, a groovy style, and a car that just won't stop.
when the going gets rough, he's super tough, with a hong kong phooey chop!
i like
fingers mcgee's alias, 'cotton pickin' pocket picker'. i dislike
what they've done to it. and i found the red
hand gang theme tune. also, funky's
getting me some free tickets
and told me about the 42-foot
kinked rail that has arrived and i'm still bloody singing round
round. damn you, evil radio. and a rinky
dinky doo to you, too.
tuesday 27th august
i was glad i took the tube. i can't shake the thought that soon i'm going to build
a third navigation for qr. what it's going to be i don't know. you see at work
you always know but at home you can enjoy just... going.
monday 26th august
ned flanders: dang diddley-oodley action jackson!!
bank holiday teevee. excellent.
sunday 25th august
the greenwich massive was inga, hairy attentive massimo (the women love him, you
know), deluxe and hol, who took me t-shirt shopping and to see deers (which turned
into a deer, and laughter) to cheer me up even though i don't think i was
down. we found hong kong
phooey on blue. like when i used to dress up as him (but only because i'd
grown out of my dressing gown.)
saturday 24th august
on my bedside table i have a guide book to japan that is as thick as a small dictionary
and douglas coupland's 'all families are psychotic'. from the king's road, divvent-yer-knaa.
friday 23rd august
philip and i visited jules and ben's near princes risborough (where my now brother
in law is from). jeremy irons lives behind them and by the look of it has a very
large swimming pool.
we took rufus for a walk. the only long-haired bearded collie i know with the
ability to say his own name. like the other haymans and philip he's a pleasure
to spend the day with. even the dirty paw stains and him sitting on me for the
journey to the thames was fun. want a shake, rufy? cue shower.
thursday 22nd august
i was designing my own japanese business card excitedly. it pushed the whole japan
trip closer to home. cocktails at cocomo, celebrating anna in pigtails from onedotzero's
belated birthday.
wednesday 21st august
i didn't like the guns on the way up though. police cars were driving from junction
to junction in front of me as i walked. armed guards ran down each garden, estate,
and i just walked on, knowing it wasn't anywhere near safe. heaven knows what
or who they were looking for. on my return journey to work i realised that two
things in my life had changed: i got a mortgage and a banana.
tuesday 20th august
softlad's birthday chez red square, chair-arm slapping all the way. last year
we were in cyprus, and with matt and the guilty
party that reunited all the holiday spirit, ie tequila. apparently the
birthday lad was having a bit of trouble with his legs by the end of the 'even-ning',
heh heh.
monday 19th august
okay, you londoners, i need your help. you are now on the lookout for posters
in the same style as the one pictured but with nintendo's mario over a blue background.
let me know which tube stations he's in and i'll go find it and put it here to
complete the set. alternatively, take a picture and mail
mel it.
sunday 18th august
ko=new
sheen=old
(or the other way round, i forgot)
as we sat down (we needed it; another early start) beverley
knight came on stage.with amazing hair. good energy. she was followed by kosheen
(the album, only louder), then the
counting crows (not as intimate as brixton academy in june
(16th) but hey, it's the crows). stairsailor faded away as we walked to røyksopp
for then lamb ('gorecki' was more of an epic than unfinished sympathy could be)
with some food and a beautiful sunset. in the dark it was basement jaxx (don't
worry, don't panic) and groove armada, superstyling it to the sound of 'he's six
foot eight. i love big men!'
a long, tiring, eventful and very rewarding day – apart from the adverts
between sets, v2002
this year pretty much rocked. my favourite tracks, in the order i remember them:
don't panic, eple (outside), shoulda woulda coulda, live forever/long december,
hard candy, at the beach, eple and hungry.
saturday 17th august
a comfy one chez sonley (two people, one name - getting used to it now ;-), where
i met maddy the face sucker for the first time,
aged three months. i'm so glad i did, too; she's an important little person -
the first child of my college generation - and if she's anything like either of
her parents there's a lot of fun to look forward to. today we laughed at the size
of her feet, mum's favourite bit.
jen did us proud with her attentive selflessness. it was the future and the past
all rolled into one. with damn fine food. that's food worthy of italics.
friday 16th august
well, well, well. where do i start? after the carnage of plan
b's birthday last night i fought the cloudy head away on the way to steve's.
i was there by half nineish, he was ready. the road trip to a road trip began.
i can't remember what we listened to as london flattened into kent, the trees
arriving beside and above us. steve's parents, janet and roger live close so he
knows where he's gone. well... almost.
we saw a nice car and pulled in, only to discover a something resembling a scene
from 'gone in 60 seconds': row upon row of gleaming red ferraris lined up in a
skylight showroom with only enough room to walk round them. their boots were open.
in the adjacent room an f40 was on silts with it's innards out, next to a purple
diablo. all we could say in the best nicholas cage immitation voice was 'hello,
ladies.' the lucky bastard mechanic told us to go further up this road,
turn left and watch for signs.
through the barriers, a quick shicane between tyres, parked next to the ambulance.
out of the car the first thing i spot, apart from some shops, is a racing beetle.
after a brief introduction to the circuit, flags, braking cones, turning cones,
braking and everything else you could expect i was in an audi tt screaming around
brands hatch. me, in a quattro, at the home of british motor racing? oh yes. the
first time i've driven a four-wheel drive sports car, tt5. two spictures: pulling
out heavy on the accelerator and down the back straight, heavier on the accelerator.
i got 80% and was marked down for entering and leaving the corners too fast (amongst
other things). i said that was a paradox. it was either that or too much gt.
a quick breather, a catch-up with steve then a helmet change. full helmets this
time, signifying slightly more serious business as i stepped into the formula
audi's (it's tricky you know). squidge down, keep your legs straight and lower
yourself slowly with your arms. seemed to work fine - i got a perfect view of
the bonnet and both front tyres approximating the size of small moons. we had
a 4,000 rev limit in fourth (85-90 mph), a gear stick on the right (- another
first -) with a metal rod under it that moved when you shifted, a clutch like
concrete and a brake that was metal on metal. the rear view mirror was a vertical
motion blur down the back straight and utterly useless. the noise was the kind
of evil snarling, popping growl only an engine that seems desperate for oil can
make. i think i changed gear twice without using the clutch. it's not exactly
forgiving; at speed the whole car seems to leap to a side what seems like a foot
or two. i haven't a clue why. maybe there are some bumps in the track, loss of
traction throught the rear wheels, bad driving, too much power. yeah. too much
power. that's go to be it.
then steve had a go
as i sat under the yokohama tower. a quick debriefing and a large coke later we
were on the bandstand, still stunned with what we'd just done. our arms ached.
apart from the actual experience of driving the racing car i think the noise of
the cars pounding overhead as we walked through the tunnel under the track was
the most memorable. the roar.
thursday 15th august
i've got my ticket. and i've
got my ticket.
expect photos. oh, yes! a beautifully concise and informative area,
my favourites being clouds
and lightning.
wednesday 14th august
livingstone's
circus rolls on. recently we
shoreditchians
have experienced the most horrendous traffic jams, due to the exclusion
zone around central
london; our work is the first road outside it so you can imagine the upheaval.
it has been all bad news until today, when the fools chopped our electricity supply
in two. everything went click, pop, thunk or bzzssh, i pushed myself and chair
from the desk, got up and went to see the doorman. last time it happened (oh yes,
it's not uncommon - when i told philip he said, 'not again...') i stole
the day too. delivered delia to emma; she's off to barcelona to be more brilliant
leaving her gorgeous flat for a while. sainsbury for peejay and the rings tonight,
then this then the park. i've got my orders.
so thanks, livingstone
(his site is ironically 'under construction'!), to you
and your idiots. i still think you're making a big mistake.
jen looked so cute tucked up in her bed, scaring herself in the dark with her
ruth rendell mystery. in true married style peejay complimented the aura by giving
me a torch-lit guided tour of their very clean, tidy and homely home. it was a
real-good-treat.
mm!
tuesday 13th august
we saw my potential flat again, noticing an exploded brick which i don't like
the look of and took lots of pictures, none of which are here. jinxing it just
could be bad. instead there's on the way to work and em and eam's kitchen view:
a surprisingly picturesque railway siding. i can't help thinking london really
does have an amazing variety of land/cityscapes and when you catch them right
you've pinched magic.
the promo showreel i did last week is there.
and i took a phot out i didn't like.
monday 12th august
a good start to the week. in early then steve - who's nearly one - popped in to
return the leica so it's time to snap. nothing doing tonight apart from lying
on the sofa and looking at the picture of concord.
sunday 11th august
plunger wakeup
late last night i was lying on the sofa falling asleep in my usual position (you
know the one), wasting the last hour of the day flipping between programmes on
used cars, surfing, holiday reps in ibiza, building gardens (badly) and other
chaff. falling asleep tv. i was happy with home improvement for a while; tim and
al were having a thanksgiving turkey carving race which kept me occupied until
tim's chainsaw appeared and it turned silly. i flipped over, finding jackass on
an mtv station, roundabouts channel 100 i think it was. funkstar deluxe has mentioned
it a few times but it's always seemed a bit hit and miss to me so i've not often
bothered. tonight i'm glad i did. as i landed on the channel the screen faded
to a title card which read 'plunger wakeup':
title card fades to a middle aged man sleeping heavily on his side, facing the
camera. you can tell he's been there for a while as he's happily snoring away
to himself, snuffling a bit into the microphone that has been obviously very carefully
set up close by. there are lights set up to shine on his face so we can see his
expression; they're bright, but not so bright as to wake him up. his son (presumably)
appears from behind the bed then starts demonstrating his props, delia
smith style. first he shows us an industrial sized plunger - you know, those
massive comedy ones with so much suction they could pull the arse off a horse
- then a thin metal bucket followed by a small, silver portable stereo. it's not
very big and every likelihood is i distorts horribly a long way before it reaches
even half volume. he places it down so the speakers point right over the victim's
head, presses 'play' on the cd and waits.
...the track begins (i couldn't tell what it was apart from loud, distorted and
thrashing) and quick as a flash the sleeper wakes up in a complete blur, his head
shaking quickly, eyes half open. he is stunned. the abuser slams the wooden end
of the plunger on the metal bucket making an earshattering 'clang!' only inches
away from his free ear, then flips it over and slams the rubber end over his dad's
face. when it won't go on any further he wrenches it off with a vacuous, slurping
'pop' and disappears out of the room.
what was left was a guy so stunned he was visibly shaking and who didn't know
what hit him. the other antics they've got up to are all here
or here
or see them in action.
i went to bed crying with laughter.
saturday 10th august
lots of new people and houses. tooting common, camberwell grove, chez bunnies,
veggie lasagne (with chili) and lord of the rings on dvd.
friday 9th august
it's been a long and very eventful week. my routine is shot and i'm tired but
making steady progress. the pay slips arrived so i move forward a place on the
snakes-and-ladders flat-buying game which, for me, brings the reality of owning
a home and all the unanswered questions that go with it one step nearer. i worry
about it as much as it excites me.
softlad's geordie jen is over for the weekend and the lounge is vibrantly reminiscing
over university years. i wasn't a part of them, so i listened and learned and
heard some absolute classic stories. most involved matt,
and how he overcame boredom.
thursday 8th august
livingstone's got a lot to answer for.
it took me two and a half hours today to get into work. it's usually a twenty
minute drive or forty minute tube stand.as you may have heard the very sociable,
understanding and not-at-all shortsighted mayor of london has decided to charge
everyone driving into the center £5 for the privilege. in effect he's building
an exclusion zone around the heart of our capital. good idea, then?
don't get me started on it.
wednesday 7th august
word on the street:
emma says do it - it'll be the most fun and freedom i've had in years
steve says he's very excited and chuffed for me. which is nice.
mum and dad are generally worried about most of it but are in support and understand
that i want a home.
amanda says wait until christmas and see what the prices are like then.
philip says i've missed the boat already price-wise, probably, but it's a home
i want and that's the idea.
holly doesn't think 1 bed flats are her thing but if i'm happy go for it and can
she do the garden?
chumpy thinks anything in london is too expensive and 1 bedrooms are often too
small, although the garden is a bonus and i've ticked off almost everything on
my list, so realistically i'm getting what i aimed to.
kate's reckons prices stay relative but glad i'd be nearer.
tuesday 6th august
flat shopping is still in full swing with two viewings today. i'm wondering
whether it's really a good time to buy after reading things like this,
although walthamstow's out, no matter what you say. the new islington nothing.
but unless i fall in love with them i'm saving my money. other shopping is of
the window (or, rather monitor) variety and mostly stemming from here.
well it's a long flight and i need to be prepared. i shall also be taking this
by my favourite author.
monday 5th august
personal:funky showed me the
boarder site on friday. i've been itching to tell everyone about it ever since.
by july next year there will be no more trips to milton
keynes and no more excuses (you all know who you are, folks). instead we shall
be heading off to beckton
which is closer, longer and so new it's not even built yet. it's a great place
to perfect those 180s
and shop in the 800 square-foot ellis
brigham store. check out the progress over time here.
we'll see you on the slope next summer, hopefully. can't wait.
professional: philip and i planned our trip to japan. so far september looks like:
12 - fly to tokyo
13 - arrive in tokyo. meet with onedotzero and british council
14 - take part in panel discussion
15-18 explore tokyo/buy lots of cheap electronic equipment (eg mini dv cam)
19 - fly to sapporo for the opening night (party)
20 - recover from hangover / oversocialisation
21 - panel discussion (sapporo)
22 - snowboarding? hot springs?
23 - fly to tokyo
24 - fly to london
late last night i realised today was the fifth of august, which pretty much means
there would be a card from mum at work today. i wasn't wrong. today we
are five.
'that was a find' chimper said, heading off to bed as we timer-recorded this.
sunday 4th august
not much going on today. chumpy joined me at the badminton club and i've spent
the rest of the day on the sofa updating this site. i've added two photography
sections in random miscellany: graffiti
and signs, urban and rural 'landscapes'
(i suppose you could call them). i've chosen my favourites, so if you want to
see what i've seen there they are. also, there's a colloquialisms
explained bit - i keep thinking that maybe i should make this more accessible.
some of my little phrases explained. if you know me, you'll probably know what
they are already but hey ho.
now all i have to do is upload it all. then i'm going to go and shout at the tv.
have you tried that? it's quite a laugh. all you need to do is keep disagreeing
with what you're told. the beauty is you always get the last word and you end
up feeling like a genius.
coming soon is the album game and how weblogs remind me of sky one interstitials.
saturday 3rd august
had a bit of a nightmare last night. dreamt all my friends hated me.
as hol and i strolled around sainsbury's for afternoon comfort food my nose really
hurt. i'd scratched it during the night. last time anything like that happened
i woke up chewing my pillow. as jennifer love hewitt and sigourney weaver double-crossed
and emotionally destroyed ray liotta i went through the entire backlog, checking
dead links and resizing pictures. maybe i should have left them as they were,
to show how this site has 'evolved' (has it..?) but i'm a designer and we see
inconsistency as a weakness. not exactly a dangerous occupational hazard, though...
text message out: 'i am the pied piper. follow me, my child...'
friday 2nd august
whoever drove the ford fiesta popular plus (with a kiss fm sticker in the rear
window) - registration plate g190 wev - through kennington, elephant and borough
this morning, cutting me up, beeping and hanging out of the window whilst laughing
needs a damn good slapping. keep your eyes peeled folks. let me know if you see
him, the arrogant child. alternatively, ram, boo, jeer him, make fun of his mother
- anything. and after you do that smile; you've done well.
my deerstalker's on and i'm undercover today trying to dish up filth on my friends
and their immediate family. i'm not doing so bad either: this
is all i've found so far - guess who's father invented this shit stirrer? there's
also new addition in chumpy's section - a man
who makes enough of his own filth to keep mister elliott in business for years,
heh heh.
i'm having a shit day, all right.
thursday 1st august
i can't live the button-down life like you. i want it all. the terrifying lows,
the dizzying highs, the creamy middles. sure, i might offend a few of the blue-noses
with my cocky stride and musky odors - oh, i'll never be the darling of the so-called
'city fathers' who cluck their tongues, stroke their beards, and talk about 'what's
to be done with this homer simpson?'
- and update qr you shit. i'm bored and want something new to read. i think it
should be updated at least twice a day.
cheers, chimper - that saved me a job.
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