sunday 31st december
roast beef for dinner, prawns, salmon, cheese, pasta, and everything else you can think of for supper. cambridge; a great place to have family and friends. but no partying tonight. no, thanks, i'll have a quiet one, with no photos.

saturday 30th december
sliding messages. finally black and orange head to toe.



after leg one of what turned out to be possibly the best road trip (snowboarding) we've embarked on i got out of the car to collect funky. as i walked to the door i ignored the old discarded letter folded up on the ground. as we left funky saw it too, as if it was talking to us, so we took it. 'could be a love letter,' i said, wondering. whilst he was getting some money from the cash point i read it and shortly after we made our deductions. possibly someone doing time, a jealous other half, a violent woman, either way. one thing we were sure of, however, was that she needed some lessons in grammar, spelling and punctuation. truly shocking.

when we stopped for petrol the pump didn't exactly fill me with optimism.



the slope was too busy, b-boy stayed on for three times as long as he should have and i went off the rail for the first time. bring on france.

friday 28th december
work, weddings, and dude, where's my car? (which i'm not letting myself watch until funkstar deluxe comes round as it's a barbados reunion type of thing.) sweet.



thursday 27th december
i want the year to end so badly. i know you should never wish your life away, but i'm tired of fighting it now. i want to waste the next few days by doing nothing at all. 'it's going to be minus five degrees on sunday,' says dad, 'that's too cold.'

the mood this afternoon was calm. and peaceful. as mum took me on her favourite walk over styles and through small crispy branches we chatted about everything briefly and nothing in particular. we just spent a few hours together as the sun set, and boy did it set dramatically - you should have seen it. when we got back home i felt better. somehow she had worked her mum magic again.



wednesday 26th december
i'm not actually happy at the moment. the sad thing is that don't know why. still, good to see al.

tuesday 25th december
tea cup, cacti, condensation, conservatory.



monday 24th december
off home. see you soon.

sunday 23rd december
solitude brings with it cleaning, packing, tidying and watching the same things on tv. tidying brings walking around the same spaces, reorganising small clumps of stuff and boxes and minidiscs.

manic obsessive? probably.

saturday 22nd december
road trip to bicester, christmas present swapping with the semi-distant relatives. i bought a fleece from the helly hansen shop that makes me look like a polar bear. a nice polar bear, obviously. it was a £20 bargain.

friday 21st december
i tried and tried to make my last working day of 2001 a positive one but failed. with only the onedotzero dvd packaging to send to print i spent almost the whole day waiting for people to come back from christmas shopping to give the go-ahead. nice.



and another.

thursday 20th december
i made the qr christmas card. if you didn't get one, i don't know who you are. see it here if you're interested.

interesting.

m: STOP SAYING EASY LIKE SUNDAY MORNIN'. IT"S WORSE THROUGH EMAIL THAN WHEN YOUR BLOODY IN FRONT OF ME. back usual.
p: easy like friday lunch time.
m: i knew it'd be an hilarious variation on an already tired theme. well done.
p: i gave myself a well-deserved round of applause, i can tell you. although i think your assessment of it being a tired theme is a little off the mark. it still raises a laugh upon every occurrence, which i believe is not the sign of a tired theme, but one in full-fledge.
m: i would have gladly answered all your questions today as i was up and out early. shame i had a screw in my tyre and had to go via quick-fit and two garages that had 'out of order' air pumps.... curses! seven quid tho' is pretty cheap for a puncture repair...
p: i'd have done it for a pam shriver. i've got a tube of superglue. do you want to start the morning quiz? i can begin today, or we can go from tomorrow? and i guarantee they will all be related to interesting, topical issues. let me know if you are willing to participate fully, as i'm not interested if i spend my time sourcing relevant material only to discover that you don't enter into the quiz with the same enthusiasm...
ok - what is the only word in the english language to end with the letters 'mt'? and you have until 12:15 to win a biscuit.
m: this is now launched, apparently. check it out.
p: looking a lot better than it was - at least it contains some content now. quite impressive. saw a few spelling / grammatical errors on first glance, however. shall we tell them?
and the answer to the question was: 'dreamt'. can't believe you didn't get that one. almost disappointed. easy one, that. they'll get harder in the days / weeks / months to come. i hope to be witness to a bit more endeavour from you in the future.... remember, answering simple questions is more pleasureable than incessant phone ringing. be prepared for tomorrow. question will be set at 10:30 in order for an answer to be submitted by 11:00. failure to comply will result in 'sonic shock treatment'. tomorrow is a big day for you. if you fail to submit the correct answer you will receive your first session of sst on thursday morning after you've had a big night out. warning: sst has been found to be harmful when experiencing the symptons of over-consumption. ('sonic shock treatment' and 'sst' are copywrighted by paul, 18th december, 2001) disclaimer: paul accepts no responsibilty for the side-effects associated with sst. these can include loss of temper, sleep depravation, and vast rectal irritation.
m: absolutely hilarious. consider it up on my site. nice - the more 'work' you do, the less i have to post up on the net. keep it up fella! sst... heheh.
and yeah, tell him. he can't spell for toffee. or 'toffee' for that matter. i'm always banging on at him but will he get out the dictionary? will he f*..
p: sst is no laughing matter, matey. if you take this all light-heartedly you will get burnt. i can't imagine you laughing at 08:30 thursday morning when the treatment commences. THIS IS NOT THE EASY WAY OUT. the easy way out is to answer the daily questions and avoid the sst. however, if you feel that the treatment is the only thing that will get you 'out of your lazy bed' (name the famous pop quote) in the mornings then by all means laugh and joke about it. the laughing boot will most certainly be on the other foot come thursday morning. i shall look forward to it.
m: wot no questions? no sst?
p: count yourself lucky. i'm busy this morning. it's clear that you just got in at 10:30. is that early? give yourself a pat on the back (or a biscuit) if it is. may be able to send a question through this afternoon, otherwise sst will be going ahead tomorrow morning, as scheduled.
m: i was in just after ten. a biscuit isn't nearly motivational enough you know. how about a sports car? can i get one of those?
p: go for your life, sunshine - but there isn't one on the prizes board. you'd have to acquire one yourself, i'm afraid. i've got a poke in the eye left, or a bunch of fives. incidentally, you can trade in the bunch of fives for a knuckle sandwich if you so desire.
m: oh. nice. move over blankety blank.
p: what is the only word in the english language to begin and end with the letters 'und'?
m: how many goes do i get? phone a friend? i'll call chimpo, thanks...
p: in future you get one answer and one answer only. are you in yet? where did you go last night? did you have fun? did you get drunk? did you try and get in early? was it an expensive night? who was there? are you in tonight? kabish?! comprende? yougotme? didyougeddit? fuhgeddaboudit...
m: erm... don't you remember seeing me when you got in last night? it's fair to say you were pretty worse for wear... heh. i had a good night - plenty of laughs in the booza but it was russian food - godawful itellya!
p: you're making it up. i didn't see you last night.
m: we had a whole conversation, i poured you a glass of water, you fell asleep, steve phoned, we took the piss out of you, you went to bed, got up, walked past the water i poured you, went to the fridge, poured another glass. and went to bed. you were in a RIGHT mess. how you feeling now?!
P: that's why there was a big glass of water on the small table by the spinster's chair. i had that this morning so cheers! don't feel too bad considering. am certainly not 100% but am not too bad at all. at what time did we have this conversation then? i have no recollection of getting home. drank a fair bit when i weigh it up. several beers, double g + t, double jd + coke, double vodka + redbull, two large tom collins' and two double cointreaus! what is the matter with me?!
m: you've already answered that question.

and so it goes...

wednesday 19th december
today was christmas party day for us and them and him with a rogue's gallery of presents. shane always buys small presents for us all which are usually based on flashing lights. with last year's red l.e.d wires and the year before's torches it seems he's exhausted the twinkles. instead we have a pokemon finger fighting toy rogues gallery where we impersonate our characters. don't we look sophisticated, responsible and mature? yeah, of course we do...

tuesday 18th december
just what i need. as they fixed my puncture i stood in the freezing cold waiting for my coffee listening to the islamic music kwik-fit's radio was tuned to. when i arrived at work i spilled my coffee over collin.



after that things got slowly worse. i lost my patience at about 3pm.

monday 17th december
stuff that's going on at the moment:

gaming: i have two new friends, jak and daxter, plus an old one who originated from the same place. paul's working on his ollies, i'm finishing the last level and starting a new one and trying to get round laguna seca in our 895bhp zzii (in black, of course, with posh wheels). plus destination webcam.

web: nice rollovers.

plate: home cooked lasagne with a third of a bottle of red wine.

hi-fi: kosheen (still), r+c, faithless remixes, pixies b-sides, old skool 1+2.

dvd: the pod race, pitch black.

sunday 16th december
i use the tube probably once a week on average, which is rare for a london resident. as i descend into the bowels of sub-city it seems familiar but also really new, like a memory i remember that is a little different in actuality. you never look around where you live with fresh eyes; i see the same things repeatedly until they gradually become invisible, but the tube is different; it's not part of my daily routine. today i noticed how many mirrors there are at oval, the bricks and the plethora of cameras.

emerging at regent street for my last-ditch atempt at christmas shopping (and, i might add, a special present for jen who kindly masterminded the webcam) i was overcome with christmasyness. every shop was sparkling with green and red and white and gold, as i walked passed in hat coat and gloves, looking through the condensation i breathed out. at last i felt like it was christmas.



oh, and happy birthday to the king of pants.

saturday 15th december
goosechase day. on the way to my sister's i tried to get a photo.

friday 14th december
the serial graffiti artist struck again! look!:



thursday 13th december
when work's as hot as this i'd rather be here with this. fortunately we are going. "'e's only gone and done it... e's only gawn an' dunnit, rodney" as david jason would say. we're off to la plagne, in february, not march, alison. we shall expect you on our return to london. okay?

wednesday 12th december
yet more icons. more? how can there be more? i really want christmas to come now... saw a flat though. my first. mark the occasion.

tuesday 11th december
'are you waiting for something else?'
'yes, but it's all right; i'm not in a rush' turns round, remembers the american in funky's new york anecdote. 'actually, i am.'

got the rest of the icons finished, presented them at a meeting across town, signed off. it felt like an easy day - i was home by 6.30, and unheard of time for working in london. when i've got everything done how come i feel guilty when i get home early?



monday 10th december
good to see the nottingham boys, great to have them on the qrcam looking like nutters. this particular coot was shot for me 'specially by ade. nice one, chap!



sunday 9th december
after a lie-in the short journey to the art shop (which is next to a mosque) was uneventful. i returned home in lbc, framed the poster and called . then i went to funky's, his living room filled with upside-down speakers and the smell of gourmet(dahling) coffee. we talked about how age makes you less angry, how you deal with customer complaints on the phone and why the x factor of work colleagues can make all the difference. what i noticed the most was how we avoided the obvious. i've spent a lot of time with them both - individually and as a couple - and now i don't have to tell them what i think of a situation or event as i know they can predict what it is. conversations roamed freely and with obscure but understood references making it all the more engaging. i'm still learning about them both as people and the more i learn the warmer and more loving they become and what i'm really trying to say is, shit i've got good friends.

on the way home it was only just dark and loud. this, from the window whilst stuck in traffic next to the greenwich observatory. a good place to see what time it really is, ha ha.



this christmas all the movies we've already seen five times are on again. what a surprise. tomorrow ade's coming to london town. go on, boy!

saturday 8th december
these guys seems to know what they're doing, or at least it sounds like they do. highly recommended and lots of fun and volume.

friday 7th december
when i want to take my mind off work i carry my camera to lunch with me. taking pictures makes me feel so much calmer. here's three i took at lunchtime today:



thursday 6th december
she's taking her time making up the reasons to justify all the hurt inside guess she knows from the smiles and the look in their eyes everyone's got a theory about the bitter one they're saying mama never loved her much and daddy never keeps in touch that's why she shies away from human affection but somewhere in a private place she packs her bags for outer space and now she's waiting for the right kind of pilot to come (and she'll say to him) she's saying i would fly to the moon and back if you'll be if you'll be my baby i've got a ticket for a world where we belong so would you be my baby? she can't remember a time when she felt needed if love was red then she was colourblind all her friends they've been tried for treason and crimes that were never defined she's saying love is like a barren place and reaching out for human faith is... is like a journey i just don't have a map for so baby gonna take a dive and push the shift to overdrive send a signal that she's hanging all her hopes on the stars (what a pleasant dream) just saying mama never loved her much and daddy never keeps in touch that's why she shies away from human affection but somewhere in a private place she packs her bags for outer space and now she's waiting for the right kind of pilot to come (and she'll say to him) she's saying...

wednesday 5th december
philip's been working really hard lately on our poster. it's a montage of all our favourite video, print and web work completed over the four and a bit years we've been together building our little company. it's a celebration of what we've acheived and a reflection on what we've done, good or bad. last night i took a proof home. it has spelling mistakes on it. i'm going to frame and hang it in my new flat, probably somewhere quiet and shadowy; an alcove or similar. i enjoy the mistakes the most. everybody else will receive a poster that is polished, finished, neat and spelt correctly, built to be glossy, whereas i will be displaying an imperfect one, a rare one, a poster that talks more about the work that goes into such a piece.

the mistakes will not be easy to spot and most people won't even notice or spend the time looking at my wall but that's not the point. the point is i know the mistakes are there - it's a secret. typos are stopovers, places you travel through on the way to completion; you never stay long and my imperfect poster reminds me that it's not what we do, it's what goes into it. we have made mistakes along the way, but we're still here. it's my way of remembering the last four years. the back of the poster, with outside next to it:



tuesday 4th december



monday 3rd december
hey, i tell you what: this is good!

sunday 2nd december
christmas shopping. two hours. must be a record. blogging from bed is definitely a first.

saturday 1st december
crash is back with his simpleasy keys and jingly soundtrack. just walk, jump and hurricane spin. it's marble-madness good. you either get it or you don't.

our third washing machine finally began to work again today after two months of hand washing, borrowing machines and yelling 'work you bastard!' when it filled with water and turned i almost wept. by the end of the afternoon three loads were done - along with a few bandicoot levels - and i just sat listening to it spin away, relishing the prospect of clean, fresh smelling clothes. all of a sudden all my favourites are clean. hair cut next.




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