wednesday 31st december
i locked my door, locked the front door, looked down at my keys and saw the mini bottle opener / pen knife al's mum gave me the day i left home for art college. we agreed it would probably be best to leave it so i untwisted it from the ring and posted it through the letterbox.

i had a wet back from where i'd squeezed past some girl dancing with glo-sticks who obviously hadn't liked it. i spent most of the time next to al or hiding slightly behind him drinking and messing around and generally remembering the way daryl had said what he did at the christmas meal. i watched people. i gave a thumbs up to a girl who fixed her skirt for some reason. she scowled back. after seeing the bare-backed bloke turn on the drunk guy who had slapped his back just that little bit too hard i realised hand gestures were probably more responsible for fights than people's intentions. in less than three hand movements they were about to fight so i squeezed my arms between them, palms facing out with a 'guys, it's new year's eve' expression. they shrugged and walked off. i turned to al's back. looking round a second - and a hundred beats - later the spot had been filled as if it had never happened. just crowd. '2003 was shit for me. 2004's gonna be good.' i shouted in al's ear at twenty to twelve as another black drum and bass tune slammed through our heads. have you ever heard music so loud you can feel it in your throat?

nev collected the coats as time ran out. at ten to six he threw mine over. the air outside was cold and dry. nev and al were talking to thomas as i checked for my keys which weren't there. 'i've never lost my keys... ever.' everybody moaned. al and nev deflated in unison. 'it's all right. i'll go in and get them.' i said calmly. i didn't let the reality of how bad our new year could be if i didn't find them sink in as i pushed against the tide of people coming out and found a bouncer who didn't look too busy. 'excuse me, do you know who i should talk to about lost property? i think i've lost my keys'
'that woman there. i just gave her a set someone picked up.' he said, pointing to the woman in a fluffy coat.
'excuse me - that guy said he gave you some keys and i lost mine.'
'what do they look like?'
'there's a blue plastic thing on one of them.' i said. she walked me into a booth about six feet away and picked my keys up off the desk.
'you are one lucky bastard.' she said.
i walked out with the flow, turned left to where they'd been and instead saw a girl shivering with cold. 'no, no! it's okay!' i said holding up my keys, ''cos i've found my keys.'
'you lost your -? and you -? fucking hell!' i walked off saying to myself '2004's gonna be good.' then thomas gave us a lift home in his land rover ('straight is good, we can do straight') while i navigated and gave what must have been a very annoying commentary ('upper street, high street of islington. expensive but cool').

we got inside and saw the bottle opener on the floor. i picked it up and showed it to al. 'the first time i take that off i lose my keys. weird.'

what a night.



tuesday 30th december



monday 29th december



sunday 28th december
out of the whole day all i remember is waking up at steve's and the ten minutes i waited at london bridge for the bus. it was cold, windy, clear but very grey. people stood with their shoulders against their ears. i took three pictures looking west, deciding not to do the obvious tower bridge option and made this. the bus stop and all the people are fifteen feet to my left. but you already knew that.



saturday 27th december
back into town for the 'it's all right, i'm not seeing them 'till after christmas' presents then out again to steve's for the most delicious caramelised red onions. always good food when b-boy's around and with presents from new york christmas is still goin' on!

friday 26th december
funky's with jussie on boxing as planned. i got wrist guards and lame from them! nicely done, folks. now i can fly without breaking my wrists. the things you really want but always put back on the shelf because you can't quite justify spending the money on them make the best presents.

thursday 25th december
we noted a turneresque sky as we made our way from the outskirts of nowhere to kate's middle of hampstead flat, christmas dinner (minus the turkey) on board. dad did the driving, chris made a sterling effort on the turkey, i made tea, kate fed, ben slept and mum did everything else. that christmas afternoon feeling when everyone's full and flaking. and a bigger family than last year.







wednesday 24th december
a sign to jesus not on a church, a cemetery near cambridge airport, the view from my parents' house, a contender for the most heinous light show ever and balligndon lane, where i learnt to lie on a skateboard face-first and scab my chin.



tuesday 23rd december
chumpy came over for xmen2 and the last old skool session of '03.



monday 22nd december
1,260 litres water = 1 ton.

sunday 21st december
worked, modelled a baja champ wheel and digitised some more tignes footage.

saturday 20th december
last saturday before christmas? shopping, then. steve joined me so we made a day of it by eating at busaba and visiting all the shops i've not been in for years, such as slam city skates. then we saw kill bill, except bill didn't get killed and it went black and white half way through the fight scene. which annoyed me.



friday 19th december
the last bus ride home from work this year and still more murder signs appear as clissold park remains closed. i'm using them as a gauge; when they go i'll have finished work for the year.



thursday 18th december
state/onedotzero christmas party on antibiotics. lots of people and no alcohol. daryl, tutor on camberwell foundation foundation course and responsible father of two overdid the streamers and calmly muttered the qr phrase of the night, deadpan and unemotionally: 'i just don't give a fucking shit.'



wednesday 17th december
as normal a day as you could expect for a wednesday until 4 o'clock in the afternoon. the work phone rang. 'hello, state?' i answered.
'mark. 's that you?'
'yes?'
'it's me' sounded like my sister's but was so faint i couldn't be sure.
'who's me?'
'kate. listen, has mum rung you?' something has happened.
'no, why?' i really should have put two and two together.
'i've had the baby.'
'wicked! well done! boy or a girl?'
'boy -'
'excellent. i really wanted a boy. you okay?'
'fine. i felt something odd at 1am and woke chris. he was all like 'it's fine, it won't be tonight.' i told him to go back to sleep for an hour and at two o'clock i knew it was happening. we calmly got out of bed, packed a bag slowly and got in the car about 3 o'clock. at twenty past three we got here and at half four he was born. three contractions.' and the conversation continued in gleeful, overexcited but very low volume tones.

ten fidgety minutes after the receiver went down the bbc collective logo had been uploaded for approval, a phone call and an email sent to the client. the powerbook screen flopped closed. i stood up and turned to tom behind me. '...i'm and uncle...' i suddenly realised out loud as the blood rushed to my head, making me dizzy. i felt as proud as i was dumbstruck and i stood up too fast.

the bus was too slow so i itched off and ran the rest of the way to sainsbury's. i bought two huge bags of kate's favourite food - mostly in nibble form and largely inedible during pregnancy - which were left at home while i walked into mothercare for the first time in my adult life at last feeling i was a legitimate shopper. i picked up the book jen recommended me, a plastic bath dolphin that clicks and flaps and a set of blue romper suits. with little blue cars on them. they were all put in a big red box that weighed a ton and taken to the hospital.

as i walked in, staring upward at the mould room sign i heard mum call my name. her and dad were sitting on plastic chairs with a cup of tea in front of them. i got a lilt and sat down with stretched arms from the heavy box. 'how is he..?'

a few minutes later we saw kate and chris and the new arrival that made them a family. he was sleeping with his hand over his eyes despite the room being very dark and painted the colour of what i imagined a womb interior look like from the inside. he's got a little nose, a chin, some hair, nails on all ten fingers and an penchant for sleep i which is pretty much a family trait. good lad. i've never seen his face before but i had a strange feeling i already knew him.

mum and dad left, chris dropped his phone and ben woke up and opened his eyes (which are huge). i took a picture as quickly as could.

with so much going round my head tonight i am still wondering how such a normal day turn into the best day of the year. and how my sister got so damn cool. i'm so proud of her. she rocks.





tuesday 16th december
started work. spoke to mum. went to doctors. couldn't register. had to drive to middlesex. found out i have a chest infection and 'flu. came home. read the side effects of my antibiotics (yellow eyes, rectal bleeding, insomnia, the usual). began work again. checked out films for the evening. saw mtv best of. watched it on the tv next to my laptop on which i made it. full circle, with bad yellows.

'you can't have light without shadows. that's the way it is.' - metropolis.

other cool things in metropolis:
ear pieces
huge tall buildings with colossal, empty interiors
gantries and scaffolding and utility pipes
l.e.ds and laser pin lights
shawls, hoods, escalators and railings
street signs at angles
vehicles that hovver
film noir detective hats and long, smokey shadows
banner drapes down the side of buildings with logos on
neon signs behind clear perspex

monday 15th december
went to work. suffered, moaned, came home. started work and finished at 11. i moan less when i'm on my own. i also get more done. is the correlation between working and moaning or work and home?

sunday 14th december
nemo day. 'it takes a tremendous amount of effort to make something look effortless.' gill was the best fish but the 'mine, mine, mine' seagulls were as funny as the yellow child detection agency in monster's inc.



tuesday 9th december
new graffiti near work.



monday 8th december
a frozen lbc before back in work with all the old skool irregulars away. peaceful. or a conspiracy?



sunday 7th december
a day trip to linton (possibly the inspiration for the london/norwich equidistant travel tavern mr partidge frequented for so long) along the m11. the last photo i shot describes how flat camridgeshire is.



saturday 6th december
werwer is not a word but is onomatopoeic enough for my head cold. a real stinker. damn you easyjet. damn you and your filthy viral air over-recycled air.

friday 5th december
unpacking. lots of pictures and video to look at. and lots and lots of clothes to wash.

sunday 23rd november - thuyrsday 4th december
tignes, france.


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