wednesday 31st july
alan, alan, alan, alan, alan and homer for starters today while you drink your coffee.

as soon as i go and lose enough of my patience with the weather to write it up here thunder storms and floods arrive. strangely, i'm not complaining.

tuesday 29th july
that japanese massage definitely hit the mark and comparatively speaking i'm now approaching icebox on the hair scale thanks to shiroma (in bishopsgate, near liverpool street). alternatively it could be the cloud cover and breeze today. the news is that it's raining in cambridge...

at work i'm putting together a two and five minute edit of onedotzero6's highlights. while i worked on the interstitials i took my first proper listen to hard candy, and i can't stop singing silently to myself 'if i could give all my love to you i could justify myself, but i'm just not coming through. you're a pill to ease the pain of all the stupid things i do. i'm an anchor on the line... of a clock that tells the time, that is running out on you...' it's much more catchy than the lyrics suggest.



monday 28th july
for all those people not in london today the topic of conversation is - in true british tradition - the weather. it's about 31 degrees at the moment under our skylights with not even the hint of a zephyr to help us out. us english just can't handle this kind of heat unless we're on holiday or, well, not moving. while we were sitting in hoxton square in shorts and sandals at lunchtime we found it unsurprising that almost everyone we've tried to contact today is 'working from home' or away from their desks.

like paul said over blackfriars bridge, 'i've already resigned myself to the fact that i'm not going to sleep tonight,' acknowledging that there is no choice. when it's so hot it's easy to wish days like today away - yet through the winter we dream of them. the human condition: what a bitch.

before dinner we watched project grizzly, which i have no hope of accurately explaining. after dinner we watched clerks which, for me, turned out to be all about the same topic. coincidences! ooh. creeepy.

sunday 28th july
for the first time in ages i was the passenger. the fox master occupied the driving seat on the return journey to al's little house on the prairie. the fox was de-sapped to the taste of cheese sandwiches there were no ingredients for and then the ducks arrived!

al's found a paddling pool in the garden that he fills for when they've finished their black sunflower seeds-in-water gruel. they were so cute - quack-quacking to each other as they waited patiently, flapping their wings when they'd caught enough spray. they used to have ducklings but there are foxes around.

the mill until the sun was no use to us, old orleans for the appropriate fagot's

saturday 27th july
gt concept isn't released yet but ade and i are playing it. and without instructions. it's obviously not as involving as gt3 but for £25 it's a lot of fun. try the nismo dream car. (it's awarded for gold on midfield license test and a rocket.)

mmm. fizzy cola bottles. goood.



friday 26th july
i put an offer in for a house today whilst easy talked me through his 'folio. it was a crazy half hour, but little did i know that was just the start. we haven't seen some people for a while now. it's time to buy him drinks, listen to his woes and try our hardest to cheer him up. the event was too late, so the chimp and i met early doors with ade, simultaneously missing the big brother final. (we hastily cobbled together a tape from work, the product boys' aerial, and onedottv's machines to catch it.) he wasn't the happiest of campers when he arrived, complaining of a hangover yet by the time we'd worked our magic it was tequila's all round, just like paphos (sans matt).

as we left anna phoned to say student rob had knocked the aerial off when he went. i told her i didn't mind (knowing i'd catch an e4 repeat) then heard her say 'he didn't really - damn! i thought that would really wind you up.'

julie got her asking price, which didn't surprise me.

thursday 25th july
crowland road was the destination today. philip and i met dad at the tube, walked 5 minutes in the sun and saw julie and her flat with it's little garden. as soon as i walked in it felt like the quiet countryside i actually want to live in.

i dropped philip and his bike off on the way back, stopping in to see how his house is coming along. it was nothing short of a work of art. i've said it before: that guy is a genius.

wednesday 24th july
on hard candy: 'will you like it as much as their other albums?'
'well, the odds have it...'

funky's for cube (the film - it's mad!), pizza, chat and a host that happily falls asleep. er... how chilled were we? it's no thanks to this or this. i mean, where's bruce willis and his space drill construction team (consisting of, among others a hilarious steve buscemi genius who loses it) when we need him?



tuesday 23rd july
i rest on the sofa at home most nights, occasionally staring out of the window. it's a strange view - the tops of the houses opposite, a patch of sky, a street light, a half-obscuring tree. i can't see the horizon but there's a great view of the heathrow flight path.a constant stream of planes cruise in from the left side of the frame, bending round (but not hiding behind the tree) and out again at the top of the pane above. its the arc they make, banking heavily that i like and how just as one disappears another shows it's face. i'm sure tonight i watched more sky than tv, but i also think i'm too hungover to be able to tell.



monday 22nd july
noinch, noinch, noinch:

'the best nights out are those that you're really looking forward to after having them planned for a while. it's the anticipation.'
'aah... but i've had some great surprises when i've not been up for it.'
'true. actually, i've had some wicked nights out when i've really not wanted to go. i think i met two now ex-girlfriends on nights like that. so that's a load of bollocks.'
'really? cool.'
'pint?'

the irony just drips. i went home slaughtered, giggling and saying to myself 'oh no - it's monday.'

sunday 21st july
bibi, our downstairs hippy landlady (- it's okay; she's cool -) returned to her annual crop circle conference this weekend thus leaving the drive free again. heh-heh-heh. the adventures begin.

first i dragged the hosepipe through her flat from the back garden for the hand wash. the one-eyed cat did nothing to help whatsoever, occasionally popping out from his nest under the tree, slowing me down by being irresistibly cute. then a quick chamois followed by wax on, wax off. why i wore my work trousers to do all this i'll never know; although i may use them to wax the car next time. i'm trying to persuade myself it was worth it - that is one shiny car and one overstroked cat - but, like mum said, it was shiny last week. and now i'm a pair of trousers down.

it turned out that 'don't splash me, mark' wasn't only an invitation. it was the name of the game i'd thought of only seconds before. i was sure i'd win, too.

after the wet shin incident the hose got a kink in it which resulted in my downfall. rule one is 'don't leave the spraying end unmanned' and i couldn't even manage that. i strolled off down the path, unfolded the hose and turned round. she ruined the second pair of trousers today. right in the crotch, too (which made walking down the street embarrassing).

i'm not going down stairs any more. i don't have enough damn trousers left.

saturday 20th july
the phone has rung and i've ignored it so many time today. i feel terrible and know that this weekend i'm being really selfish and doing exactly what i want, but i think i need to. this year has wiped me out so far with two weddings (with their stag dos), a huge thirtieth, orbital and working on game on and onedotzero6 until i'm dizzy. there's always been something to plan, prepare, organise and save for but now there's... nothing. i have no plans.

friday 19th july
caledonian road, crouch hill and end, turnpike lane, wood green and general harringey and hornsey. stopping off at every estate agent, noting every sign number. the search starts. today's efforts told me it's not going to be an easy or quick one.

i looked at a flat at the maximum of my price range today which was twice as far from work as i anticipated being - and it didn't even have central heating, a shower or anything remotely resembling a kitchen. although it's going to be easy to become disheartened i reassure myself with knowing i won't buy anywhere i won't be happyliving and hey, there's no rush. my dream is a ground-floor 1 bedroom (the thought of 2 is frighteningly nice) with small garden and lbc parked out front. near a tree.

sorry, ade, today kind of ran away with me. next week, for sure. half day indeed. pah.

thursday 18th july
i was stuck behind red lights, staring at the sheer amount of dust generated by the building site next to me at aldgate when peejay rang. i looked twice, reaching for the camera after the first, automatically knowing i was going to snap it. i'm not sure what the impulse was triggered by - the yellowness of the wall, the open door or the dust describing what you can't see: an obviously enormous hole. or was it the mysteriously missing billboard that let me see even that much. i excitedly told peejay i was flat shopping tomorrow as the lights turned green.



my independent financial advisor and state's accountant have liaised and it's all good news today.



wednesday 17th july
as i slowly went numb from the feet up last night - narnia wasn't far away - i wondered who had said 'almost exactly' during the day. i'd heard it but couldn't place it. out of everything that happened i haven't a clue why i involuntarily chose that. my breathing slowed. thinking logically became more of a struggle. the more i turned it over in my head the less sense it made, the further i got from remembering who said it, or why i was even playing with the whole subject. by the time i reached that magical confusion / numbness threshold i'd forgotten what the subject even was, not that it was important. i gave up. then i woke up.

it was this morning.

tuesday 16th july
the first thing i did when i got to work today was open the window by putting my hand through it. after removing the dust-sized particles of glass from the fleshy bit at the base of my thumb i went to tell the building supervisor then booted up the mac. i occasionally have to wipe the blood off my mouse to stop it sticking to me now. ew. continuing the theme of randomness, a picture of chimper 'putting the hammer down' as he puts it (in v. ralley, not sunbathing, although the phrase contextually originates from the latter) and stu's daughter eating her father's nose, caught perfectly by peejay.



monday 15th july
according to my bank balance last tuesday i went to chessington and spent £232.50, presumably on fairground rides, ice creams and denis' madhouse. according to the entry below, which is true, i was at state all day working on the bbc creative research and development showreel. weirder and weirder. the last time this happened a certain anonymous friend was buying porn over the internet. i tell you, it pays to check your bank statements, folks. here's what i was up to.

sunday 14th july
friday's wish came true and lbc got a parking spot! look! we even had to go down into bibi's garden and water it (cooling ourselves down and cleaning our windows in the process). moon and star put in a guest appearance, the pegs became colour-coded as we slowly began to fry.

my car, from a funny angle, ha ha. anyone remember that?

saturday 13th july
after an upsetting and downright annoying morning the day morphed into: 'when my dad's that pissed don't say good-bye to him twice. he'll stay all fucking night.' (steve). i should have known better. but when roger staggered over to the dustbin 'fridge', swirled his hand around the top, then pulled out a plastic carrier bag i had to have another chat. hammered, rocking and loving it. what a geezer.

what with gary 'no, i used to work at the ft' cook (that should return his opening line gambit of 'all i can remember about you is the amount of chocolate you eat'), the king's miss willis (no relation), the extended family price, random strangers and the cyprus massive back together there was only one thing to do: tequila shots then get in family mode. softlad, having flown back from holidaying with his parents from france had no trouble. as he said the following day 'steve's parties are always good.' true.

friday 12th july
no sun today then, no matter how hard i try. anyone know any native american chants or dances? anything's worth a go, surely.



thursday 11th july
i live in a city that runs tv adverts on eyelash architecture, has the internet in phone boxes and yet has caveman-esque graffiti. digital graffiti. that's what's next, i bet.



wednesday 10th july
happy birthday mister b-side boy. 30 minus 4 indeed. here's my 10am journey to work, in honour of marking the occasion:



tuesday 9th july
bbc video commences. t minus four days and very much counting.

monday 8th july
as i approached the garage at work this morning, fresh and awake after my week off (despite the babushka / hobgoblin weekend) i wound down the window to smell gas. it was intoxicating. a workman soon informed me the entire building had been evacuated. i was going to start a music video compilation for the bbc, but it looks like i'm forced to take another day off. shame...

sunday 7th july
last night was funny. last night we were trashed. i slept whilst jay and bob was on, missing the tears of laughter and giggles, but did manage to wrestle myself out of bed for dude and st elmo's. there were plenty of fluids on the go, even goat's cheese bruschetta somehow. still wasn't enough to clear our heads though.

saturday 6th july
early up for car shopping, gas tank cylinder collection and new amplifiers - none of which were for me. i took my first ever daytime nap. it was - in the words of tracey deluxe - 'lush', especially when there was the party of the year to wake up for. i remember emma ambushing me on my entrance, looking hot, funky's pasta and lots of very loud techno and tiny tiny skirts. everything else in my head is kinda fuzzy. blame diversion: it's all that crazy cooper car buyer's fault.



friday 5th july
saw peejay after far too long. in fact so long that i started getting nervous for no reason before he arrived with his new ipod.

forget the knee; i can live with the bruise. its my right thigh that's the problem. i had to lift my leg into bed last night. i approximate it's weight at around seven tons. roughly.

thursday 4th july
an easy day of washing clothes, plates, burning and labeling discs, eating, sitting and sleeping. everything you need to recharge your batteries. well it is my week off work.

wednesday 3rd july
what a top day. last minute, funky and i visited our favourite place to the soundtrack of a, at singing volume. he struck gold with the same board as mine (hallelujah i hear myself cry!) and i had the leica back and ready for action. there was plenty of it, too - but keep it quiet; my achey-breaky knee has had a few choice words with that rail... but listen to the noise it makes when you get on it!

highlights: in pictures



: and quicktime movies



oh, and there are some fireworks in the grey section i made for my sister. for those of you who that can't find it, the button is on the left. marked 'grey'. okay? okay.

tuesday 2nd july
not quite an faq, but find out all about this whole site here. all of a sudden it feels a lot more like me.

monday 1st july
i collected al's recorded delivery today. (a thorum bomb? of my very own?) it turned out to be a massive chunk of our shared history. i haven't a clue where or how he tracked it down but i'm hellagrateful. nice one, fella!




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