saturday 30th june
provisionally definitely.

the renders for onedotzero's tv show are looking expressive but maybe a little unruly. decision: set a structure and stick to it religiously or loosen up and just go with it. here's a test render (final versions on light yellow). what do you think?



friday 29th june
i worked for 19 hours today. i only stopped to eat twice and drive home.

b-boy's in trouble. i should think it'll be a couple of days until he can talk about it but he is all right, believe me, but how much more can go wrong around this poor fella? is it worth suggesting a holiday?touchpaper lit, backpedaling...

thursday 28th june
heading to the door: 'do you think i'm winning him over?'
'it's me you should be worrying about trying to win over!'
'that battle has already begun...' walks out the door.

a few minutes later: '...what?'
'i was just thinking.'
'you're going to write that on your site, aren't you?'
'yeah.''
'i knew it!'

wednesday 27th june
the yearly graphic design degree show at central saint martin's, the fierce competitor in style and attitude terms of the london college of printing. null hypothesis: csm = pizza graphics and volume, lcp = traditionalism down to the hot metal and hand-rendering type at six point for weeks and patience. make what you will of the fact that, ironically, i've been to both. the nicest part of last night was walking into the comments room where usually you'd have a book each. one of which, incidentally, i did not have at my lcp show. long story, and anyway, not now.

the 'comments book':



my comment - check out the 'a's - typographic genius!



tuesday 26th june
just realised i've been wearing my t-shirt back to front. for three hours. still, i'm doing better than tom hanks in castaway, which we are watching whilst wishing we were on holiday. soon i shall be envious of being on a desert island, even if i am lost. good film until it exploded into shash at the end.

monday 25th june
today i heard someone say, 'it's whatyou like that counts, not what you are like.'

close calls on the phone, and shrimps. la - tokyo done. smoke not gone up yet, as my mother would say.

sunday 24th june
inventory for a burning hot june sunday afternoon:

scott yecora, 19" frame with bar ends, no lock
grey and white da kine explorer pack / rucksack
black ray bans, small
'e' by matt beaumant, isbn 0-00-710068-x, pages 166 - 239*
black, cloth-covered a6 seawhite sketch book
black pentel propelling pencil, 0.5 mm / 2h leads
leica digilux 4.3 digital camera with 64mb smartmedia memory card (with one 1280x960 shot stored. of helen.)
nokia 6130 mobile phone, turned off
0.5 litre volvic water bottle, refilled with brita filtered water
orbital's the altogether on cd, original (to return to peejay)
deus ex for mac on cd, original (to return to peejay)
knackered merrell trainers, wilson socks, blue trousers, white carson t-shirt, wallet from san francisco, house and car keys so that if we get burgled they still can't steal lbc.

not exactly traveling light on my trip to battersea park this afternoon then? oh no. but wait. let me start earlier. it began yesterday. when i did nothing. i wasted a day. willingly and enjoyably enough yet still wasted. sitting around the living room with b-boy seemed to sum up our current frame of minds as i rendered another onedotzero scene in front of live big brother. i wanted to get the blood pumping again so sweated there and back, stopping to read the book, another good-for-me activity. the best part by far was cycling too fast through dappled sunlight between the trees grinning to the sound of dried-out leaves crunch and twigs snap and pop under my wheels as the suspension squidged and hissed with the bumps in the hard grass. coming home past lbc filled me with a sense of the past and present. the future, i thought, could wait. home with thunder aurally but not meteorologically. rear speaker treble from the remote whilst rechoosing old favourites from the merely reminiscent. music doesn't date. it never gets older. you do...

so tired of waiting i walked an empty land. i was looking for something to help me understand and bad luck kept turning my dreams into sand. i didn't want pity, i have my share fof friends; i wanted somebody more special than the rest. i was aching inside like i was approaching the end. just about that moment, the timing was so right, you appeared like a vision sent down to my line.

...but it can make you feel young again.

* imagine sending this:
from: susi judge-davis - 12/1/00, 10:31am.
to: lorraine pallister
subject: you!!

what time do you call this? 10:30 is not acceptable. do you think i can run this department on my own? you have not made an auspicious start this week. if you are unhappy i would be glad ro speak to rachel on your behalf about the alternatives.

and receiving this:
from: lorraine pallister - 12/1/00, 10:36am.
to: susi judge-davis
subject: re: you!!

sorry, i'm so late, susi dear. i got shagged bandy last night, and took ages to get going this morning. you should try it sometime. it might loosen you up.

saturday 23rd june
the last thing you think of is the first you need. or at least that's what today's motto could be. still flipping. and on a saturday? must mean i care.

hang on, i'll get back to you.

friday 22nd june
lunch today in the churchyard with a mobile telephone call to mum. i don't much enjoy giving good people bad news and was mesmerised by the enthusiasm of the airedale terrier retrieving the burst football for it's preoccupied owner. i've never really been an animal person, you can keep the boxers, poodles and labradors, but i want a mini airdale. then all i'll need is to able to stay at home and throw deflated objects into empty wide open grassy spaces. maybe i just needed a distraction on the 'phone; some days i can't tell.

thursday 21st june
the longest day of the year in daylight terms and as i glanced over to see what time it was the clock said 12:34. i looked back again, froze, shook my head clear and went back to flipping contours.

i hate the smell of bleach and love the smell of petrol. how does this help define me as a person?

wednesday 20th june
nothing but work at the moment. i'm at the beginning of the onedotzero tv title sequence. long haul. fifteen seconds at this rate will take three weeks. so far it's looking like this:



tuesday 19th june
4:30 am, looking east from the living room window:



monday 18th june
if you're trying to call me at work, i'm not there. after weeks of worry i finally forced myself to take a day off. i'm tired of worrying. i'm tired of work. i'm tired of worrying about work. the stress levels are rising and my brain capacity starts clipping at times like these. i don't multitask very well. i sped to cambridge listening to spliced size in the lbc, destination al. destination the same place as my dad's work. spooky. dad's not there at the moment as i sent him to biarritz. what ensued was a demonstration of al's newfound mixing skills talents expertise hobby, a bacon sanger and lightspeed chat. it's hard to catch up in an hour, but the company was sympathetic. i'm still shocked by the how the smallest amount of effort can reap such huge rewards. an hour's drive i feel totally balanced again, with my head on straight and eyes focused forward. my throat is sore from singing, my hair resembles a shocked porcupine from the open sunroof at 90 and i feel refreshed. stronger. finding time to do these vital things is so much easier than i perceive, but so necessary. i should do it more. i will do it more. it's good.

and here's my attempt at a mix-mag-styleee shot of the 'master' at 'work' (ie, lunchtime):



somehow, childhood friends already know. silence is golden. my head is still not clear though.

sunday 17th june
an eight-hour lie-in. how do you spell 'norris mcwhurter'? roni size spliced and re-sized and so much better. less shash more music, that's what i say. and two things: people not asking me if i'm okay and only tell me good news.

saturday 16th june



the first view out of the window this morning was british summer time. don't you just love it? ten minutes later, through deafening noise and the pungent smell i noticed the legalise cannabis march. let's face it, it was pretty impossible to ignore. the question that struck me was, 'is playing booming techno at rib-wobbling volumes while sauntering past quiet sleepy homes on a saturday lunchtime dressed as plants and fairies the best way to make an impression?' it doesn't strike me as being the most acceptable way to make your point although it is an alternative to wandering around marks and spencers.



ironically, the protest naked guy is fully clothed. har har! but umm...

text message (outgoing): tori amos or kate bush.

friday 15th june
the meeting with our accountants was re-scheduled from 10.30 this morning to 2pm this afternoon which allowed me the opportunity of collecting little blue car (lbc) before work rather than after. collecting it after would have meant going home early (the garage shuts at 5.30 which means leaving the studio at 4.30) but i was too impatient to see it. plus i have lots to do at work and after only three days i'm already sick of travelling by tube. it was nice to see it's spangly newness unhear it's squeakless brakes and unsee it's dentless side. first song to be played was so sofisticated from the new stereo mc's album. definitely worthy of an in-car audition, should you not have it.

update: meeting now rescheduled for 5pm. lucky i did collect lbc this morning...

surprises but no apologies in the meeting, strangely, only one in the car. but don't worry about it. the thing i've learnt in the light of today's events is that you should never take safety and 'the future' for granted. when you're complacent it trips you up. at the same time it makes you breathe life. things are real again.

thursday 14th june
finally and at last here we have the link. can you all do some crash testing for me and let me know if you find any problems, errors or bugs? that and let me know what you think of it, good or bad, of course. here's my tube train arriving to take me to work today due to little blue car undergoing a highly traumatic de-denting operation. don't worry, i hear it's making a full recovery.



email from funkstar: "sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo skint!
i've started making a list of my oldest relatives, thats not good.
f*"

wednesday 13th june
first thing i did this morning was say hello to someone who wasn't the person i was convinced it was. good start. coffee in the hand clearly broken.

today at work i was trying to get a response form bouncing all over the web before hitting the desired destination, ie, my mail account. i was having trouble. in between screen-staring concentration and coding all manner of anomalies i was around the office and down the street and basically going anywhere that would use some energy getting to. then back to silence and smtp servers for three hours and so it went on. i am getting loads done and yes, it bounced back. but i think soon i'm going to need a holiday. still, looking good though.

tuesday 12th june
god, i've got to get this onedotzero poster finished. a fun but very tiring night in. sometimes i think you can be happily tired. happily.

monday 11th june
a full day on stop2 (still doing it at 11pm) - be live tomorrow so a link for you then, i hope. plus a magical lunchtime with a new three-quarter length sleeve top! when i like clothes i wear them all the time. and the test is if i put it on straight away it's a winner. mmm. bounce.

today one of our pupils (like that, tom?) sent evidence of the most excellent batsignal scam i've ever not actually seen across nottingham's police station:



sunday 10th june
babysitting (- if you can call sitting around your own lounge watching charlies angels in 5.1 babysitting -) was really fun today. robbie and dannie from the nether regions of the building squidged around on bean bags swinging their golf clubs and shooting their cheat twin rocket launchers. hella-tiring, though.

saturday 9th june
bluewater and curry. and we watched a film that i'd never heard of before called 'momento'. if you're a fan of non-linear narratives, spliced reality and psychological thrillers, it's compulsive viewing. fight club meets the usual suspects would be my closest similie. but hey, what do i know?

friday 8th june
an awful, awful day for all the good people, but a very welcome and welcoming trip to the kent countryside, too. even though there was much to instill an evening of head holding:



thursday 7th june
whilst talking to b-side on the roof this afternoon i noticed something and couldn't help wondering what the hell it was. excellent resonance as it just stuck out for no obvious reason. there's definately something eerie about this:



wednesday 6th june
good to get to work without someone threatening to hit me. when nothing of note happens it can be better than when something does.

today whilst drawing tokyo i 'ave been mostly listening to gouge away by pixies. it reminds me of a-level art classes and the school hall. stay all day, if you want to...

and this evening has been nothing but madness. blast radius, rope catapulted humans, murder in the dark (without the dark), bins on heads and little proddy things that robbie sticks in your arm. this evening's leaving comments being:

"right. i'm off. i'm knackered."
"have you got work tomorrow?"
"yes."
"yeah."
"aah. you're such good capitalists."
"i'm just paying rent..."
"yeah, bibi, we're doing it for you -"
"well, go on - be good capitalists then."
"that's so bibi - 'personal fascism.'"
"...that and 'shan't repent.'"

tuesday 5th june
had a road-rage shouting match, drew stockholm and watched x-men on dvd. i really enjoyed it: a world where the unimaginable can happen. pausing it before the bang-'n'-flash hollywood ending to flick over for big brother's 'highlights' where nothing happened showed how much fun suspending disbelief can be. just go with it and cue the madness.

mind you, i wouldn't mind being wolverine for a day; i mean imagine the fun you could have if with an alloy-coated skeleton and the ability to heal really quickly. man, some people would get the arse-kicking of a lifetime.

monday 4th june
here i am, equidistant from psycho, the pc and the coffee table, propped up by two bean bags and a rug wondering what to write on this dreamweaver document. it's the beginning of june. erm.

tap, tap, tap...

delete, delete delete...
is the sound of me writing a huge amount of rubbish about what this site is and how it started and how the cryptic stuff is just me reminding myself of something personal or intimate. but we don't want to give you thaaaat...

bought some new ray bans today. keanu reeves has nothing on me. and i'm not even going to mention will smith. also, i drew a contour map of los angeles. all ready for modelling. i'm thinking tuft meets cunningham, possibly pastels on white. when i've got early renders i'll let you know.

conversation whilst on the phone with al:
me (into the phone): oi, mate? you sound hammered! how long have you been drinking?
al: i haven't. i've had, like two glasses of wine and that's not nearly enough these days.
me: that's about my limit, mate.
al: yeah...
me: ah, fuck it. i'll go to the fridge and get a beer.
al: weeee.
me (to matt and softlad, sitting in the lounge, and phone, accidentally): want a beer?
matt: nah.
softlad: i'm all right.
al: yes please.
me: aaah, the legendary mister benn...

(later)
me (after a ten minute debate as to who gets the last doughnut: matt vs me): ...or a mars bar. a big one. or...
brm: a mars bar?
me: a...
brm: all right...
me: rolo youghurt!
brm: i'll have the mars bar. is it a big donut?
me: ...urgh.
brm: i'm thinking about volume...
and so it continues.

sunday 3rd june
thankfully, holden caulfield went mad just before my patience ran out and i did. two or three more pages and it could have been a very different ending... for both of us. instead it's big brother live on e4 in the background. a non-company kind of day.

so i just spell-checked may 2001 ready for the backlog and the part-way through results i got were:
'..., mark, text, i'm, jesus, i'm, thursday, ...' heh. but ooh, too.

mozzerella, basil, sundrieds and espresso melting into vanilla will come later.

saturday 2nd june
lie-in, shopping, deep down and dirty shoes, road trip, hmv, selfridges, south molton street, skirt alterations, ibiza, chilled ibiza, and giving away cd's... again. [so, i keep buying cds and dvds that i really want to enjoy - but have stopped myself buying until it's obtained 'reward' status - only to lend them immediately to my friends or girlfriend because i want them to enjoy it even before me.] objects or people? i have a very real fear of both materialism and my susceptibility to it. still, all sociable in a way.

i'm glad i got a text message before the flight.

and spangly belts i want to buy.

friday 1st june
impromptu friday it feels like today and i don't even know what that is or what i mean. although it still feels right.

18:29:54: i forgot the chocolate. sorry.

instead, peppercorn and pictures with stickers and, well, explosions i suppose you could call them.


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